Friday, June 12, 2009

Were Off To Boarding School!

It has come to my attention that I may have to send Zachary to a boarding school in...oh let say Seattle! You may be asking yourself why on earth would I want to send this poor, pitiful, beautiful little boy to boarding school? Well I will tell you why I am about to send him to boarding school, because he has an evil streak that's why!! See for yourself!

Oh I'm just kidding, I would never send him to boarding school in Seattle.

It would be Military School in Prague!

Let me explain. Yesterday I needed to go to the grocery store. Which, by the way, seems to be the inspiration for many of my Tacky Trashy Tuesdays. What could be more Tacky or even Trashy that a whole slew of Appalachian Americans all hulled up together in one public place? Its priceless! Anyways, I needed to change his diaper before we left, and like every other time that his diaper needed changed he runs away from me. So it went something like this:

Me: Come here and let Mommy change your tushy so we can go bye-bye!

Zachary: No! No change tushy!

Me: Come here you poo-pooed and your tushy is stinky!

So, with that he let me change it and we were on our merry little way to Ingles. We made it half way through the fruit and it hit me..hard! I needed to go to the bathroom...RIGHT NOW!! (Don't you dare give me that look of disgust! You all know the feeling, like you have had one bite of Mexican food too much! We have all been there) So, without going through to much of the "dirty" details we went to the bathroom and then continued our shopping.

A few aisles after that, ironically enough it was the Mexican Food aisle, we ran into a girl that I used to go to High School with and her Mother. This was not a girl that I was "friends" with per say, but we knew of each other so we stopped to talk for a few.

We talked about what jobs we have now, how much it has rained lately and so on and so forth. Just idle chit chat that happens when you run into someone at the grocery store. Then they turned their attention to Zachary. It went something like this:

Them: Hey little guy. Whats your name?

Zachary: My truck boo (blue)

Them: That's a really nice truck buddy! Did your Mommy get you that truck?

Zachary(Pointing in the direction of the bathroom): Mommy poo-pooed, Shew Mommy tushy stinky!

Them: Well we really have to get going. It was nice seeing you again.

I was mortified! And he did not stop there, Oh no sir, he told the manager that was checking us out the exact same thing! He was nice enough to pretend like he didn't hear him, or notice if 15 shades of red on my cheeks!

So, that my friends is why Zachary will promptly be on his way to Military School in Prague! Because if I am ever going to be able to show my face in public again I am going to have to get rid of the little snot! :)

So, now that I have embarrassed myself on the world wide web I am curious:

What is the most embarrassing thing your kids have ever done to you in a public place?


brandi said...

well with all my children being breast fed i cant count how many times they have pulled my shirt up in public so i've inadvertantly flashed quite a few random people!

kace said...

hahaha too funny!

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