Guest Blogger Brandi

As promised I begged and pleaded asked my friend Brandi to write a guest post. She is the proud Mommy of four beautiful children, so as you can imagine she has some pretty funny "Mommy Stories" to share. So pour a cup of coffee/tea/hot coco, sit back and realx, and enjoy a few funny stories. Hopefully you will soon see why I love this girl so much!

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Hi I'm Brandi, our friend Jennie here has asked me to be a guest um... blogger? I've never blogged before so bear with me please.

First of all I'd like to tell u a little bit about our friendship. I've been friends with Jennie now since the 4th grade. We have been through a lot together, and I wouldn't take back a minute of it. We have one of those rare friendships that, when I look back over it at anytime I am guaranteed to bust out in hysterical laughter, of course this always seems to happen in public (I get strange looks daily). Some of my fondest memories are of us driving around in her car doing absolutely nothing and having a blast!

Jennie suggested that I tell some war stories about being a mom/domestic engineer (that’s fancy for housewife. I always add in monkey wrangler to the occupation slot :D). Since I am blessed with four kids she figured I had plenty to share, so here goes, sorry if I bore you to tears!

Ok Lily, sweet Lily, is my oldest child and the most outgoing! She is beautiful and energetic in every sense of the word. When she was almost 2 she had her first time-out. I don't remember why she was in time-out, but I will never forget what happened in the next few minutes. I stuck her nose in the corner told her to stay and went off to finish the dishes. A few minutes later I returned to free her from her "prison" and saw she was still in the corner! As I walked towards her; I have to admit I was praising myself for raising such an obedient child that stays when she told at such a young age and reveling over what a smart child she was I saw it.
“Lily what’s this?"
"Happy stinky!" she replied with pride blazing on her face.
"Where did you get a hold of a brown marker?" I asked.
"Poopy!"She beamed back.
In the total of 3 minutes this girl was in the corner she managed to poop her diaper, deduce how to get it out and then proceed to paint her artful vision of happy in the medium of fecal matter all over my white wall! In case you didn't already know this Windex will clean just about anything.

Next up Andrew! Andrew is reserved but very handsome and something surprising will always come out of his mouth. One day I had returned from Wal-Mart with new tighty whiteys for him. Expecting the "Oh! Mom! underwear? Where's my toy?" response, I got the exact opposite... "Oh thank you, thank you Momma now I can be a super hero!"
Shocked and somewhat speechless over the reaction I watched him scuttle off into the house happily clutching his new undies. Soon he returned outside clad in nothing but aforementioned new undies and a red hanky tied cape style around his neck, he hopped around the corner hands on his hips and announced
"I'm Tighty Whitey Boy and I'll save the day!" (I may or may not have peed my own pants from laughing so hard).
Mine and Jennie's following week was decorated with random Tighty Whitey Boy jokes.

Abby is the most quiet of the four, she is so sweet and gentle in everything she does. I had made gummy worms one day and completely amazed she asked me
"How you do that Mommy?"
"Magic" I answered
"Wow!"
About a week later when the last gummy worms had been eaten of course Abby comes and asks for one.
"Gummy worm please Mommy?"
"They're all gone darlin' I will have to make some more."
Thinking the conversation was over I returned to my task, after about 5 minutes I turned around to find her still staring at me.
"Abby honey what are you doing?"
"You have to say Abra-Dabra-Gummy Worm!" and that’s when I learned that she takes me way too seriously.

Michael is the baby he is rough and tough and hardly anything stops him. No certain story has popped up in my mind for him but, I will tell you the kid runs fast, I mean fast. He is 19 months old and when he runs I believe he is literally defying the laws of physics. The way he wabbles the kid should live with his nose in the dirt. When he screams (he is in the fit-pitching stage) someone always yells "The tea is ready!" But he loves his hugs and kisses and his food and I wouldn’t expect anything less!

I think I was supposed to tell The Waterpik Story but this thing is already too long its even annoying me. Thanks for reading!

I'm Baaa-aack!

Wow.

It has been a long time. I am what my IRL* friend Micah called a Slogger. A slacker blogger.

*In real life

I wish I had some really exciting story to explain my absence, but I don't. So this post is to play catch-up. So bare with me here, while we get caught up on a few things.

First of all, Monday was my Birthday. I am officially an old woman. Let me prove this theory. I went to some semi-local shopping outlets with my Mom on Monday to go shopping and find a new wardrobe. I shopped about 1284 stores, just knowing that I was going to go home with a completely glamorous wardrobe. I tried on outfit after outfit just knowing that "this one" was it. I also came home empty handed. Call me crazy, but I don't like any of the new styles out right now. There is just something about the "homeless logger" look that is not appealing to me. Five years ago I would have worn it anyways because that is what was in style. Now that I am an old woman, I chose to come home with no new clothes.

Second we have been hit. It crept in on us like a thief in the night. Silent. Harsh. Unrelenting. Unforgiving. It is the Swine Flu, and it is evil. I picked up Zachary from the babysitter on a Sunday night. He woke up that night with a 104 temp. I took him to the Doctor on Monday morning and they confirmed my suspicions. Positive Group A Flu Test...aka H1N1. We were house ridden for three days. He was so sick it was pitiful!

Third I finally got to meet my niece. She is so much more beautiful than I ever thought. I have enjoyed every minute with her. I will ask you guys to pray for my brother-in-law because he leaves for Iraq on Tuesday. She in her Mom (my sister) will be coming home to stay while he is away. I can't say that I'm sad about that, but I do ask that you pray for his safety while he is away, and for my sister to have strength since she will be a single mom for a while.

I also have a few other request. My friend Angie announced this week that she is pregnant again. Please join me in praying for her and her family. I believe that not one person in this "blogasphere" does not know how the last pregnancy ended. So please pray for a healthy pregnancy, and baby.

Also I am sure we all know Stellan's Story. He is in the hospital again with SVT and is not doing well at all. Please pray for his recovery, and Jennifer's strength and peace at this very difficult time.

And finally, be sure to check back in with me tomorrow, because I will have a guest blogger. I have asked my best friend Brandi to share some of her "Mommy Stories" with us all. I'm sure with four kids she has plenty. Please drop by tomorrow and show Brandi how loving my Lovelies are!

I think we are all caught up now. It was good to talk to you all again. I promise to do better.

Talk to y'all tomorrow!

Whatever Happened To The Customer Is Always Right?

I have noticed something over the past few weeks. Something that actually disturbes me a little. You may have noticed this too.



Customer Service Is Dead My Friends!!



I have worked with the public since I was 16 years old. One thing that was (painfully) drilled into my head was "Make the customer happy" or "The customer is always right".



Well much to my dismay, those days are long gone.



Take for instance the lady at the checkout that was on her cell phone the entire time she was checking me out. Never spoke to me, not even once! But I can say that she is going to buy her husband a new pair of shoes for his birthday next week! I'm glad, I was worried my bothering her to want to pay for my merchandise would doom her husband to walking around barefoot, and I would just never forgive myself.





Or a different cashier at a different store who let out a blood curling scream right in the middle of checking me out, and went running to the other end of the room. I was shocked! I checked to make sure I didn't have some kind of monster hanging out of my nose, or that Zach didn't let out some sort of atomic bomb in his pants. When I was sure that I didn't cause the little breakdown she came back to explain that a spider crawled across her register. A little melodramatic?



Then there was the guy at the hardware store. I asked him where something was, and I was told if I would look "down that way" I would see it. Since I came to him from "down that way" and didn't see it, that may be why I was asking for assistance.



Call me old fashioned, but I'm not giving these people my money to be treated like I'm bothering them!! What happened to the days of old when people would pump your gas for you? Or come to you while you are shopping to ask if you need help finding something? Or, at the least, GET OFF THE PHONE while they are waiting on you?

I'm curious, do you have any bad experiences to share?

Too Far!

**Warning- This post contains foul language that I (almost) never use. If that offends you, I encourage you to keep reading. Coincidentally, the fact that you may find this offensive, is well, the actual point of this post**

Today I spent the day out with Zach, and my Mom. We decided to go to the mall and get Zach some new shoes. (Which is an entire post by itself, because if you have ever tried to talk an OCD baby into changing his shoes....whew its traumatic...)

We looked around for a while, and decided to take a break from the meltdown that is trying to get Zach to part with his shoes. Zach likes to look at the "monsters" (Halloween costumes) so we walked into a popular store that is known for its Halloween decor.

I haven't really decided if I am going to share the name of this store yet. I feel like I should, but I don't know the rules on this. After you read this, let me know if you think I should share.

Any-who, we were walking around looking at the various Halloween items and I come across something that I have been mad about all day! Take a look at the pictures below and let me know what you think. First off we have a bib. While crude, believe it or not, its not the worst.

I'm sure all Daddy's would love for their little ones to wear this one!

This one really got me, but again not the worst one!

And here we have our winner! This is the most offensive, crude, disgusting child's shirt I have ever came across!

You want to know the real kicker on these shirts?

They are all sized 0-3months!

Would you really put these articles of clothing on your newborn baby?

I think NOT!!!

Whatever happened to the time when our kids could be-oh I don't know-KIDS?

Please let me know what you think on these. Also let me know if you think I sould share the name of the store!

Holding My Hand

I am the LORD your God.

I am holding your hand, so don't be afraid.

I am here to help you.

Isaiah 41:13 (CEV)

How many of us Mothers have been holding our Toddler's hand, and felt that tiny little tug meaning they want you to let go? They are independent little things, and want to explore what the world has to offer without any help. What is your first instinct?

To hold them tighter.

Even though they think they can do it on their own, we know better. Whether they know it or not, we know what is best for them. We know that if we let go, they may fall down, or get away from us. So we hold them in our protective grip, showing them the way.

How many of us have tried to let go of God's hand and tried to do things on our own?

He just holds us tighter.

At times he may let us try to do things our way. Just like a Toddler that is usually when we fall down, and just like a loving Mother, he is always there to pick us up, dust us off, take our hands and show us the way.

He is always there, no matter what you are going through. Keeping us is his firm, protective grasp, loving us more than we can even begin to understand.

He will never let you go.

Let Him Eat Cake!

Last night Zachary and I made some cupcakes together. While I was expecting disaster, and the use of a pressure washer as consequences for my actions, I was presently surprised at the outcome.

Here is a short video of Zachary helping me make the batter.

***You will have to overlook the sound of my voice on here. I have had the croup for the past few days (that's right my baby knows how to share!) and I noticed only after making the video that I sound like Donald Duck, with a heavy southern draw***

He attempted to help me pour the batter into the pan, considering he is only two I would call that a job well done. Out of 12 cupcakes I was prepared for 12 of them to overflow the paper. Imagine my surprise when they came out looking like this! I only had one unruly cupcake! Thanks to my high photography skills you can see that I forgot to wipe up the spilled batter before I stuck the pan in the oven! Oh well did I mention that I only had one unruly cupcake?

Then it was time for the icing!! This was his favorite part. I only let him do one and thank goodness...

...because this was the one that I let him put the icing on! I think he got a little excited with the knife!

Time to add the sprinkles! Again thanks to my professional photography you will have to ignore Keith's foot in the side there!

His sprinkled plate! Not to bad for our first batch of cupcakes together.

The finished product. So their not perfect, and a little messy, but we had fun doing it together and that's all that matters.

Well, that and the fact that they are YUMMY!

Oh Man! Oh Man!

I have been reading The Blackberry Diaries:Adventures In Modern Motherhood By Kathy Buckworth over the past few days.

I have not gotten to read it as much as I wanted to the last couple of days because Zachary has been sick with the croup, and I have been tied up. But what I have read of the book I can summarize in 3 words: HILARIOUS!

From what I can tell the book is actually blog post that she has written in the past. There is one post/chapter in there that I wanted to share some of with you guys to give you a feel of the book.

In this chapter she talks about how the men in a relationship have it so much easier than the women in the relationship. This is the list she gives in the book.

Why It Is Really Better To Be A Man Than A Woman (By Kathy Buckworth)

1. No one expects men to wear thong underware.
2. Men only have to shave their faces (or their backs)
3. No PMS, monthly periods, hot flashes, leaking breast, PAP smears, etc. Maybe a little bit of Joke Itch. Please. Amateur Stuff.
4. Men literally have nothing on their mind but a naked lady. How freeing is that?
5. Men don't care if they find a single Tupperware lid at the house.
6. Gray Hair. When women get one they look 10 years older, when men get them they look more sophisticated.
7. When men are loosing their hair they can just shave their heads. Unless auditioning for the Coneheads this is not much of an option for women.
8. Men can use the phrase "I'm sorry I just wasn't thinking" and people believe them because its true.
9. Bikini Waxing. Enough said.
10. Men don't really care if the sheets get changed.

So that was just a few from the list. Really the book is too funny, and sadly pretty true. I was thinking of doing a giveaway with the book, I just don't know how I want to go about it just yet. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm open.

Talk to y'all later!