Friday, October 30, 2009

Guest Blogger Brandi

As promised I begged and pleaded asked my friend Brandi to write a guest post. She is the proud Mommy of four beautiful children, so as you can imagine she has some pretty funny "Mommy Stories" to share. So pour a cup of coffee/tea/hot coco, sit back and realx, and enjoy a few funny stories. Hopefully you will soon see why I love this girl so much!


Hi I'm Brandi, our friend Jennie here has asked me to be a guest um... blogger? I've never blogged before so bear with me please.

First of all I'd like to tell u a little bit about our friendship. I've been friends with Jennie now since the 4th grade. We have been through a lot together, and I wouldn't take back a minute of it. We have one of those rare friendships that, when I look back over it at anytime I am guaranteed to bust out in hysterical laughter, of course this always seems to happen in public (I get strange looks daily). Some of my fondest memories are of us driving around in her car doing absolutely nothing and having a blast!

Jennie suggested that I tell some war stories about being a mom/domestic engineer (that’s fancy for housewife. I always add in monkey wrangler to the occupation slot :D). Since I am blessed with four kids she figured I had plenty to share, so here goes, sorry if I bore you to tears!

Ok Lily, sweet Lily, is my oldest child and the most outgoing! She is beautiful and energetic in every sense of the word. When she was almost 2 she had her first time-out. I don't remember why she was in time-out, but I will never forget what happened in the next few minutes. I stuck her nose in the corner told her to stay and went off to finish the dishes. A few minutes later I returned to free her from her "prison" and saw she was still in the corner! As I walked towards her; I have to admit I was praising myself for raising such an obedient child that stays when she told at such a young age and reveling over what a smart child she was I saw it.
“Lily what’s this?"
"Happy stinky!" she replied with pride blazing on her face.
"Where did you get a hold of a brown marker?" I asked.
"Poopy!"She beamed back.
In the total of 3 minutes this girl was in the corner she managed to poop her diaper, deduce how to get it out and then proceed to paint her artful vision of happy in the medium of fecal matter all over my white wall! In case you didn't already know this Windex will clean just about anything.

Next up Andrew! Andrew is reserved but very handsome and something surprising will always come out of his mouth. One day I had returned from Wal-Mart with new tighty whiteys for him. Expecting the "Oh! Mom! underwear? Where's my toy?" response, I got the exact opposite... "Oh thank you, thank you Momma now I can be a super hero!"
Shocked and somewhat speechless over the reaction I watched him scuttle off into the house happily clutching his new undies. Soon he returned outside clad in nothing but aforementioned new undies and a red hanky tied cape style around his neck, he hopped around the corner hands on his hips and announced
"I'm Tighty Whitey Boy and I'll save the day!" (I may or may not have peed my own pants from laughing so hard).
Mine and Jennie's following week was decorated with random Tighty Whitey Boy jokes.

Abby is the most quiet of the four, she is so sweet and gentle in everything she does. I had made gummy worms one day and completely amazed she asked me
"How you do that Mommy?"
"Magic" I answered
About a week later when the last gummy worms had been eaten of course Abby comes and asks for one.
"Gummy worm please Mommy?"
"They're all gone darlin' I will have to make some more."
Thinking the conversation was over I returned to my task, after about 5 minutes I turned around to find her still staring at me.
"Abby honey what are you doing?"
"You have to say Abra-Dabra-Gummy Worm!" and that’s when I learned that she takes me way too seriously.

Michael is the baby he is rough and tough and hardly anything stops him. No certain story has popped up in my mind for him but, I will tell you the kid runs fast, I mean fast. He is 19 months old and when he runs I believe he is literally defying the laws of physics. The way he wabbles the kid should live with his nose in the dirt. When he screams (he is in the fit-pitching stage) someone always yells "The tea is ready!" But he loves his hugs and kisses and his food and I wouldn’t expect anything less!

I think I was supposed to tell The Waterpik Story but this thing is already too long its even annoying me. Thanks for reading!


Anne - mommyhastowork said...

Cute stories - Thanks!
Stopping by from SITS!
Happy Saturday!

Dawn said...

Too funny!! Love "tea's ready" My 18 month is at the screaming point too-my girls would love that saying when he screams.

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Paula said...

Ha! Such funny kid stories. Sounds like you and Brandi have a great friendship :) I've also known my best friend since 4th grade. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog!

Melissa said...

These stories are too cute! I can't wait to have kids so I can tell everyone funny stories like these ;) Hope you are having a great weekend!

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